Tag: Anxiety

Poem – “To a Heart you Ignore” – Romanticism – 6/3/2021

Tame the position
Of one beast who bottled
His sunshine in the hourglass,
While time kept us frozen
To observe the past.

You were to the world
All it aimed to ignore,
All death desired
To give birth to,
Upon the murky shore.

You live
To keep singing
Your pain, for the wilderness
Where isolation grows heaviest
Upon leaves made of your disease.

Why choose to forget?
Why choose to regret
The simple moments
That mattered more
Than any field with which
Your tremoring hands burned?

I loved among the apocalypse.
I showered the content of a heart,
As the world gave gifts of meteors,
Pleasant in the nighttime terrors.
I stoked what would remain,
As you led on, in pain.

Deep beneath your feet,
A heart lays shattered, in crystal dust.
Can you see your reflection
In each wasted fragment?

Poem – “Stillness in your Veins” – Romanticism – 6/3/2021

Open heart
To the petty gusts
Brought forth
From the heartbroken surge,
To the relief that divides
The heart from grief.

There is water in your veins,
Bleeding out for the pain
We both were singing for,
Beneath the immaculate bedsheets.
With faces heavy in the weariness,
While eyes shower grace
Upon hands made of metal.

I choose to hold you
Out of all other options,
For one last time to dip these feet
In the everlasting scar.

I walk among
Your life, for one fairytale
Moment in the damned
Meadows of your mind.

While cradles hold
Infant and winter’s cold,
I turn towards the summer
With a message
Contained in the few droplets
Left, to escape for.

Poem – “Each Tear to Hide” – Romanticism – 5/28/2021

Among the waves,
Tears collect, to recede
From the glass,
From the mirror’s boundary
Frosted by breath,
Frozen through
In the silence of death.

Among all
Countless beats of a heart,
Veins will shatter
Along with
Each moment to matter.

While eyes hide
Behind the tear-stained hands,
While one wilted form
Cannot stand
Upon a barren shore.

Unable to see,
Unable to breathe
A second more,
While the afterlife
Closes upon me.

Naked in the winter,
Clothed in the summer,
Smiles are the panic
As truth is the fallen leaf.

Quote – “As Pain Forces you to Grow” – 2/9/2021

“Do not keep your hold upon the droplets. For they are meant to water the roots. Do not let anger, through the fear that burns what is dead within yourself, consume the wilderness meant to thrive. As pain may be the thorns, everything beautiful is the rose. You might find the stem unwieldable, as a tightened grasp will hurt. Let it. Let the blood stream down the long rope of green. Then, let your tears let spread the roots, at your feet.”

– Modern Romanticism

Quote – “The Man who Cries” – 2/5/2021

“No man will cry over sentimentality. He will, however, weep when the boulder during the present, buries him further into the earth. The guilt, harbored upon his shoulders, docked as a ship within his heart, overloaded with the cargo of self-disappointment, offers him the curse of blame for what he could not protect. Competence is, to a man, his own pride. As he kneels over the ruin of what was once so beautiful, so gorgeous, there comes an innate sense of remorse to swallow his senses, and to ever be the last understandable thing to come embrace him.”

– Modern Romanticism

Philosophy – “The Differences Between Love and Trust” – 2/3/2021

“What comes first? Love or trust? It must be love, because we cannot trust everyone.”

– Modern Romanticism

Does one know why the person commits suicide? It is objectively an act of self-punishment. Since it is that both love and death are gifts, due to that life cannot see when either will arrive, the person who commits suicide has chosen death for what punishment is, as opposite from forgiveness. A depressed person cannot understand how to forgive themselves. Were they to figure out how to do so, they’d be cleansed of every fault they know of themselves, to begin, once again. Life can predict its own self, being life. Though, life cannot predict love nor death. As in, life can perhaps predict when someone else will arrive, though it cannot predict the things no one knows when will come. It would be that the person who decides to end their life by their hand, knows themselves, comprehends what their preference is, as they need no one else to gift that punishment.

We state to a person, whom we know, that we will not “spoil the surprise” of their birthday present. That is a sameness to the reference of “prediction” for life knowing life, and then of one person knowing another for their preferences. Though, being of everything related to a gift, is always in what is not expected to arrive. Though, we are comforted by how we know, ourselves, that the gifting person knows us, to know our preferences. As another example by way of the preference, two lovers, during a session of sexual intercourse, comprehend easily what satisfies the other. These lovers know each other. They have learned the other’s flaws, to have accepted them. They have learned what brings pleasure, to have introduced it.

Trust is built. Same with skills. Same with respect. Knowledge is built or accumulated, because “to know” resides upon “to trust” in the same manner. The way humans are limited is not by how they love nor by how they die, though by how they live. Preciousness unto life is a sure mentality that protects those who are deemed by love to not die, as we shield the beating heart. However, through our naivety, comfort enables us to believe that a person, whom we love, cannot ever die. We forget that they might die, due to the comfort that love brings. It is through love that protects life, while it is through death that punishes the life that had no protection nor a way to forgive what was a fault.

We cling to who loves us, because of how they know us, and because they have seen our faults. Any person who has trusted another, cannot forget what they have seen. For of love, and then of trust, there is nothing more incapable to drain from our memory, than of who was once nothing in our lives. Of them becoming a form of significance, was only because we have seen what would not be revealed to anyone else. Of the things seen, are of faults now trusted within our memory bank to never misuse. It is because they were presumably placed in proper hands. If love came from nowhere, then it is the same for the earth we stand upon. What builds, is trust, is the life as the support that keeps another standing upon that earth, to keep walking. To keep their life moving forward, is only ever in the representation for who knows another, comprehends that faults cannot be what brings death of its unending gift of punishment.

Poem – “Reversing Tears” – Romanticism – 1/30/2021

Track your swum miles
Back to the reliving love,
Watered by the storms
We drew our arms through,
Together,
Keeping smiles on the pages
We turn,
Together, in a hold.

We hold history
Ever on page one,
Finding love in unending tears
Backtracked on the first mile
We ever sought to cross.

Oh, love,
Keep smiling
With waters to your naked heart
Leaning in reverse,
Falling upward.

Beauty
Closes curtains,
Nestled thus in the bed,
Not the coffin,
As coins drop from your cheeks,
Chancing this love,
Startled of you,
The bird from above.

We gamble
Forever, by the side
Of ever-growing storms,
Purging our happiness
For a time.

We bleed
To collect Heaven’s raindrops,
Arranging a smile upon a portrait,
Keeping truth decadent,
Precious and believed.

Romantic Dialogue – “How I Never Gave up” – 1/21/2021

A: Oh, beloved. Was I always your only mistake?

B: As just the very one who abandoned me, the only regret who has come to be both truest and most false.

A: You regret so much, of so much abandonment, though I led you through your darkest trials.

B: You led me, to then bring me towards my ruin.

A: Was I too much?

B: You were enough, though it became enough for me to take no more of it.

A: The abandonment?

B: You loved, though you abandoned me when the tasks were done, when the darkness was over. When you did leave, the darkness returned. You led me towards that, though I never did the same unto you.

A: Was it because you never led me?

B: It was because I always trusted you.

A: I’ll not ever give up. I was merely a man without anymore purpose. It was not the darkness to make fade, that ever gave me purpose. It was to embrace the light, being you, that I held onto. I wanted you. I needed you. I bled the darkness away, so that I might find you, the light. What was I? Never your light. I seemed to have only erased the darkness, to become it, myself.

B: If you’ll never give up, then why did you give me up?

A: I make excuses. It is why.

B: What is your excuse?

A: To never see myself, in the reflection. I saw you, and only ever you. All was for your sake. All was never for mine. I make excuses.

B: These are your excuses?

A: These are my pains, that I suppose you won’t comprehend.

Healthcare – “Why Individual Concern is Best” – 1/8/2021

“Go on. Laze around. Tell yourself the problem will disappear, if you just place yourself in a hospital. For if there is no greater source than the source, itself, then the cure cannot touch it if a person never admits to themselves as the problem.”

– Modern Romanticism

Accountability. Responsibility. Discipline. These are the factors rarely ever acquired, by your average supposed individualist. There are those who display themselves as images, because a picture cannot alter itself without deception. To cover the truth, requires a mindset unwilling to expose oneself not as an image of difference, though as the recognition in which another person could identify with.

This is the empathy it requires to resolve another person’s issue, through one’s love and genuine concern for them. Why would we only wish to identify with ourselves, in displaying pride for our held differences, if not only to be proud for what is wrong with us, because no one cares for us?

This is the truth that states healthcare to change will only be the lie that conceals what a person inherently comprehends is their true problem. It is not in whatever disease they hold, as it is in what caused the disease. Even of genetic diseases and disorders, there had still been a long line of irresponsibility that had caused such. To imagine that example as a long line in a family history of drug addicts, to make offspring after offspring possessing numerous genetic deficiencies, was not something simply to blame on birth. There was individual fault in that example.

In making Healthcare “free for all” only embeds a longstanding problem, that deals with individual irresponsibility. The more irresponsibility is shared among people, the more burden is placed on the Healthcare system. This same example would go for a family, where the more negligence is existent among it, the more conflict and the more desired outside reliance for a “cure” to it. How is a marriage counselor going to be effective at solving nuptial conflict, if the two spouses do not see the individual necessity to solve what is wrong? This is the same reason why rehabilitation centers for addicts do not work, much of the time.

Do the same people who stick to being irresponsible, somehow support divorce and ruined families? Are they this sadistic? They must be, if these mindsets easily align.

Do the same people who support Healthcare as “free for all”, somehow also support the negligence it requires to sink oneself into a state of individualist decline? Do some of these people make a habit of scorning the common person who dares to have the strength to pick themselves back up?

Are these people perhaps those who would say a person who attempts or successfully commits suicide was “brave”, though would say to a person who found a way out of their depression that they are a “coward”?

These are the people without empathy, selfish in the mind to believe that if no one cares for them, they can care for themselves only in displaying themselves as an image. As it is, an image or sameness only ever changes if a lie is added to it, to conceal what is truly wrong. It’s the same as smearing the world with paint, so that the underlying universal understanding never shows. Perhaps that is why people are “proud”, to display their own flag as every color of the rainbow, representing the lies they use to conceal what is truly the source of the issue.

How many people who put themselves out there as an image, said to “come out of the closet” to “show themselves”, are cited as “brave” individuals? If this is the case, then why not forget those people who saved the lives of others, in their worst moments? Why not forget the people who died on battlefields? Because, if one merely believes that image is the best reason to show bravery in a cause, then just show every person who committed suicide, of one life that was never saved, on a pedestal for its image. If that becomes ever the case, we’d never understand what heroism truly is.

Philosophy – “Why Depression is all the same” – 1/1/2021

“Can depression be removed from the life of one who suffers from it? It cannot. It is not anything related to presence. Depression is what a person suffers from, due to absence, just as a wound upon skin is missing flesh and blood.”

– Modern Romanticism

The average psychiatrist or psychologist, or those who simply study the mind, cannot seem to comprehend the very definition of depression. Contrasted from the wound to the flesh or form, being something of a physical injury, damage done to the mind is metaphysical. Meaning, it is damage that extends beyond the understanding of a psychiatrist or whoever else is just attempting to do their job. It is what the depressed person suffers from, that no person whose study is the mind, made as a profession, can offer of replacement for true mending.

Is depression something there to be removed? Can a person who suffers from depression simply be stripped from it, altogether? Depression cannot be removed, anymore than with a wound on flesh, one would make it bigger.

There are those who have cited “situational depression” and contrasted it from “clinical depression”. However, it is all the same, due to that what is missing from one’s life, being what caused the depression, might not have ever been there to begin with. As in, of “situational depression”, there had been an occurrence, of perhaps a death in a person’s own family, that caused the depression to begin. Though, of “clinical depression” where there is no obvious situation involved, such is also the same as the former example, by how “absence” is also the factor involved to what the depressed person suffers. Whether a person suffers from their depression because of a loss, or of something that was never experienced, it relates to the yearning to which makes a person suffer from that absence.

What prescription, offered by a psychiatrist or whoever else, can offer something that was once genuine or wanted to be genuine, to someone’s life? According to this, anti-depressants would be no more than placeholders, deprived of the genuineness that would fulfill an individual out, from what they lack.

It is always that a person suffers due to what has either been lost or had never been, rather than what is still present in their lives. Gratitude is the feeling we possess for what is still present in our lives, being the factor that fills the void of depression, of that darkness to which we found no light. In the realization for what is still present in our lives, rather than for what is absent, we do extend that gratitude upon it. Though, the factor of being “genuine” among all that presence, cannot relate to the materialistic, being more proof for why depression is metaphysical of an issue.

Philosophy – “Not the Depression that ever Hurt – A Critique to Psychiatry” – 12/14/2020

“Things which are lost, become phantoms, become memories of something physically present to trust. Now, trust is procreated, in something lifeless, injected, and said to be sterile or safe enough to cure an absence.”

– Modern Romanticism

To the psychiatrists who have believed a patient suffers from depression, suffers from anxiety, is not the sort able to differ “presence” from “absence”.

Is not the person who suffers from their loss, feeling depression to ring songs on their ribcage, pained by tension to knot the stomach, most truly suffering from absence? A lacking, to something, to what is needed, not for what is convenient to have. It is a fact, that convenience does not relate to necessity. And, for what is needed in one’s life, has felt for eons that it “cannot be lived without”.

To be loved, or to have shelter, is to recede from the cold into warmth. To have water, is to be malleable. To have food, is to be carved into shape. For each of these three things, it is shelter which the surviving person desires the most.

To be lost, perhaps in a wilderness, is much like the feeling of loneliness, of abandonment, in one’s own mind. To be without, is to be depressed. To wish to find, is to be anxious. To the psychiatrist’s mindset, there is a belief a person is “suffering from a mental disorder”. Yet, that is the same to say that the suffering is for presence’s sake. It is not the suffering which is presence. It is always the suffering which is absence.

It is the proven here that the field of psychiatry believes that mental illness is something to be removed. Does not the field comprehend that “removal” has already been undergone, or perhaps was never there? Does not the field comprehend that the ongoing anxiety is a symptom of survival, thereby pertaining itself to “needing necessity”, which would first be shelter?

Love. That is the ingredient, not to be injected, though given of breath, of presence to life, of everything familiar and identifiable.

No person suffers for what is present, rather for what is absent. For the psychiatrist, NP, psychologist, or therapist to say that a symptom like depression must be removed, is same to say that it is a physical problem. It is not a physical matter, as it is metaphysical. It is beyond the physical, therefore making it impossible to be removed, and only ever hidden. Only ever can it be ignored, of what the patient does truly need. Only ever upon gaining back, or receiving for the first time that necessity, can mental illness then be replaced with peace and stability of mind.