Psychology – “Why Mental Illness Symptoms do not Return from Tapering off Medication” – 2/8/2022

“It’s as though those mental health symptoms were never there, and you were on a drug that tapped into the placebo effect. You were experiencing a hard time. You were desperate. You reached out, and what you brought back was relief in a bottle with a special child’s lock on it. The cap. When you opened it, your reality was never a thing to experience. You gave full trust to those who were never interested in you, only what is wrong with you.”

– Modern Romanticism

They always say this:

Your Bipolar, Schizophrenic, Schizoaffective, ADD, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety… “might return if you truly wish to go through with getting off this medication.”

They say this, the NP’s, the Psychiatrists, and Psychologists, though none of them comprehend the red flags. How can a person who studies the mind not realize what affects the mind? They offered you a bottle with what you believed, in your heart, was a cure to your traumas, among all other mental afflictions. The red flags, being the very essence in not being able to understand reality. Not understanding reality is the place of mental illness. Being lost in darkness is the place of depression. Being afraid of the future is the place of anxiety. Then, since such is the case, those red flags consist of not being able to tell apart the differences in these symptoms. Whether the symptoms of withdrawal to getting away from what has been perceived to be a reality of a cure, to the symptoms of mental illness that was understood to be an absence of reality; the realities are always there, as our nihilistic endeavor to deny them only places us further lost.

If symptoms to withdrawal is the same as the symptoms to mental illness, what absence of reality is different? The answer is these realities are the same. A medicated individual has withdrawn from the craving for something out of their desperate design, to then have the same mindset for craving something perhaps more recognizable. Even if the latter has been perceived as more “recognizable”, the former had shown an exact amount of perception to recognition as the latter. The former scenario showed the mentally ill individual comprehending life from a perception of pain. Then, the perception of pain was made into a sameness of an exact scenario through the latter, where that individual has perceived themselves being dragged apart from reality.

Withdrawal symptoms and mental illness symptoms are the same, though the prescribers won’t note that. They will not give the warning to their patients that tapering from the medication will bring on the same symptoms as their mental illness. Perhaps the reason for this is to not confuse the patient on reality. If reality is shown to them that the medication is truly an addiction, they might comprehend that their own refusal to acknowledge themselves, not merely what is wrong with themselves, has been what began the mental spiral. As reality is meant to be a depiction of what is real, factors such as pain are alongside this. However, mental illness is known to have symptoms of pain related to the patient’s absent perception of reality. If life experiences pain for what is real, then how can mental illness be a part of this? As in, how can mental illness be a real thing to an individual experiencing it? Moreover, this is the same relation in wanting to extract the perceived need of a medication, also a reality to the patient for its intent as a cure, to whoever might believe their mental illness has been a reality for them.

Having those withdrawal symptoms as the same symptoms as mental illness shows that both are the absence of a perception to reality. If a patient underwent symptoms of Schizophrenia, Bipolar, etc., then such pain belonged to an absence of reality. The same pain is applied to withdrawing from the medication, one that was perceived to be the gateway to reality for the individual as they thought of such as a cure to what was real as their agony. All this is meant to state that there is no reality besides the individual, not to what is wrong with the individual. All absences are the place for mental illness, though as a practitioner to their patient will find that a resource, such as medication, could replace what is missing to said patient, there will be from this only a prolonged miscomprehension of reality.

Quote – “Why Creativity does not Affect Mental Health” – 7/6/2020

“Whoever said that creativity affects a person’s mental health, has it backwards. It is mental health that affects creativity. It is the emotions of the madman who is the best creator. Without those unknowns stemming upon the blank page, there will be no ink to draw from. For that unknown is black, as the page is always white. Therefore, without mental strain, there can be no expression. For we make sense of our unknowns, our confusions, in adding them to blankness.”

– Modern Romanticism

A Writer’s Life – “My History with Mental Illness” – 4/22/2020

Mental illness had sprouted from me, truly speaking, at the time I fell in love with the only woman I ever loved. I created this blog to write about every feeling I had with her, before our parting.

It was only due to a specific medical condition that created our parting, as that condition would have certainly interfered with the happiness of our marriage.

I have been diagnosed with everything under the table: Schizophrenia, Bipolar 1, Schizoaffective Disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome… and I could have named my life a ruin after taking those diagnoses home with me.

Though, I did not, because I am attempting my best to live my life, only thriving on a very low dose of a prescription anti-psychotic.

I take no anti-depressants, and no anti-anxiety pills. Through the pain, that I feel most days, I adapt to what I notice around me. I even hallucinate when I type words for a poem, attempting to utilize subconscious fear to make my writing flow with it. It’s all strange.

For the only woman I ever loved, I made this blog. I won’t make it disappear. In it, I have written over 800 poems within under a year. Much philosophy is included within the blog, amounting to more than 200,000 more words. Each poem is a testament to her memory. Each word for the philosophy is merely a thought, and one that crosses my mind to send it into a frenzy.

Not only that, but I have written 2 novels, 4 novellas, and plenty of shorter stories, in separate word documents. The first novel was capped at 55,000 words, with the second one at 80,000 words. Including the poems, with the rest, I have written all in 18 months.

I’d call all of this an accomplishment, were it not for the emptiness I feel due to the loss of love in my heart.

I feel pain some days that I cannot stand, and whenever a memory crosses my mind of her, I can write 7 poems, though nothing ever stands out. I want a time to write a masterpiece that will cleanse this pain.

I sometimes wonder if Van Gogh, through his pain, had merely painted an endless series of works, all as fragments to something that could be a whole. Almost as if those “fragments”, being those paintings, were too jagged in shape to make a whole out of a jigsaw puzzle. Nothing fit, that is, from one painting to the next.

Perhaps Van Gogh did as I did, painting so many to never make a complete picture. Thus, he ended his life.

There have been other creators, from musicians to sculptors, who were able to reach deep and pour all their pain into a single work. After that, such artists say to the world that this work “healed them”.

A Debunk – “On Why Mental Illness is not Hereditary” – 8/16/2019

The same people who are against vaccines are also in support of the legalization of all manner of illegal drugs and narcotics. They believe both to fall into the same category of “freedom”, and yet, I’ll call it as falling into the category of “slavery”.

The Buddhists have a focus on two areas to the human: mind and body.

Either one can be enslaved. Those Africans of the past who were enslaved, were enslaved for their physical capabilities, and any sign of intelligence they showed was a sign that they’d be able to rebel, form a strategy for escape, and they were executed.

Why is it stated in the title that mental illness is not hereditary? It is for the reason that “mental illness” is what I believe to rise out of memory.

As children, these small ones do not understand the world, and through their curiosity, they ask many questions to parental figures. A mother, or a father, or anyone who can provide a response, that the child trusts.

Mental illness must be the thing that has come from everything unknown in a child’s mind, buried down in the subconscious; and as a child asks these questions, everything still left as not understood is made as a nightmare during a child’s sleep. Mental illness rises, as most should know, during the times of a person’s adolescent years. This is the stage of a human both hitting puberty (development of the body), and the development of their own mind, which causes the adolescent (objectively speaking) to attain their own independence. It is why I also believe that it was Nature’s decision, in the creation of our own minds, that upon the escape from absolute question, into the time when a human can create their own answers, during the stages of life when both mind and body develops, that objective independence is attained.

This is to say that independence is only ever gained when problems are solved.

By saying that mental illness is not hereditary, I am saying that only through memory of everything still misunderstood, comes to the adolescent as still blatant question. That is to say that as children, they were never given answers. As adolescents, they will begin to beg for these answers. And again, as adults, they are still looking for answers.

This is to say that science’s greatest achievement, or failure, is to provide society with no answers, no resolutions, and only an endless path of question for the individual life.

It is because every memory to a person has unearthed itself from the subconscious. A child at the age of four did not understand much, and so what was misunderstood came to the child as a nightmare, during sleep. Now, when the child is an adolescent, and forced, by Nature, to develop some form of answer, every question from childhood buried in that subconscious, is coming out as “nightmares” in the waking world. That is, these so-called “hallucinations” from Schizophrenics, are merely “misunderstood memories” that resonated from childhood and are still misunderstood by the adolescent.

And then, as the adolescent turns into the age of the adult (the age of 25 when the brain stops developing), they run into the same unanswered questions that are still begging for answers. That is, the superpowers, the politicians, and the hospitals are only “rushing to develop more powerful medicines” for the sake of their own desperation; because, as the powers are desperate in search for a conclusion, so are the weak desperate for an answer. And this is why I say that only through something we cannot ever understand, we will find all the answers possible to find.

Mental illness cannot be hereditary because such descriptions written above affect everyone. To say that it is hereditary is to only say that each child has a memory. You may as well be stating to each child that they have flesh and hair, or teeth and nails. You may as well be stating the same things to an adolescent or an adult. And then we wonder why everyone’s so conflicted with their identity.