The origin of selfishness can only come from personal decisions. We believe, at all times, that the decisions we make define ourselves, when such is not true. The decisions we make shape our world, the reality around us, not who we are, within. In fact, our actions would not shape us, as much as those actions were already decided upon, because of who we are.
Selfishness links to personal decisions, because the opposite of selfishness is, of course, the selflessness that links to not having a choice in the matter. Because, for those we love, we do not take the time to contemplate either on what they need, nor hesitate to aid them. For of the former, in contemplation or consideration, even if we’re wise to not approach a tormented friend, it has never been overnight that such a person turned of such a state. And, if one believes this is the case, one has not been paying attention. Then, of the latter, to be hesitant; how does one act this way when their love should compel them to rush to the defense of that vulnerable person?
Having a decision, having a choice, having freedom, is meant to be limited in respect of selflessness. Especially for the subject of “justice”, there is no freedom, as much as there is proof of evidence when being selfless. For to display action on a love, for another’s sake, will appear more potent than a mere few words to only tell of that commitment. In the name of justice, we are objectively selfless, not acting on personal motives.
It cannot be supposed that when we make a choice, we can be selfless. It is because a choice requires thought, that one will begin to reason themselves out of confinement. A marriage is confinement. A vow or promise is confinement. A friendship is confinement. One can reason themselves out of these commitments, involving thought and not the heart, should they be discontent with them. When we choose, we are not loving another. We choose based on what we want for ourselves, not for others. That is because to know another is not like experimenting for the self. It is to know someone, and then comprehend what they like, what brings them happiness.
To have paid attention to them, to know what brings them healing, is the mark of being loving to another person.
When we focus mostly on choice, we are focusing mostly on ourselves, while mainly omitting the idea that were one to not have a choice, they’d be focusing on their own happiness, regardless.