Poem – “Not Seeing Through” – 4/26/2023

I cannot tell,
nor can I remind myself
the differing aspects
between a lake or an ocean,
while both are forming
at mere eyes apart.

I keep believing
that Neptune will have itself,
of its own reflection – not mine,
not from one who cannot
even see the sun,

without burning back
what I cannot see,
when I cannot look back.

Lashes. Long scars
upon arms that embrace the air,
while a choking sensation
is all, to relive a curse
that leaks in through shattered lungs.

For I’ll re-enter these waters,
when I breathe in
all that I ever gave, giving in-
to all that I disbelieved in,

then, to all that I find myself
rowing backwards, to be within,
and believing in no deity,
when its face is hidden
behind clouds, behind smog
of filth that resides there,

with, or without,
the worshipper.