As I once dived into beauty's gaze, As I once collapsed in my surrender to her, As I once believed her eyes to never break, And shower me with her tears, As the ground trembled from her thunder. As I once loved the stars for their shine, As I once stayed in the grace of her feet Stepping over my formless self. As I now feel my heart thumping in a chest of oak, As I now grieve each new tear from my eyes Roaring over my quivering cheeks. Sickness and bereavement Makes me want to return To her arms, and never return Back to where I lost the way. Give me the death I want Without the life I deserve. All I kiss now is the breath of my own, Not her starved smile. Failings define me, As successes determine me, Choose me To leave fragments to be counted by the stars. As I now step over the ocean, I aim to live on another one.