A Note on Bereavement – “Depression, the 4th Stage of Grief” – 6/7/2020

It is initial, that one will be in the stage of denial, while anger will accompany it, soon after. One, in denial, is frustrated that the matter took place, that the loss took place, as such anger will spark tears. One lashes out, because acceptance is so far away from the current tension.

In recent months, I have experienced these stages.

After the first (denial) and the second (anger), there is the third stage, being bargaining. It is the begging and the pleading for something to be relived of what moments a grieving individual had. It is those moments when relief is connected. We do not cry in the stage of bargaining. Because, there are snippets, small fragments of hope that are wanted to be there. It is fueled by the previous stage of denial, as anger is the response from us once the bargaining fails.

Once the bargaining fails, we are welcomed with the fourth stage, being depression.

The 4th stage of grief, being depression, is the stage where we finally realize there is no hope for that person’s return to us.

It is when all denial, anger, and bargaining seems pointless in its spoken aloud words.

This depression is the stage where me, as the blogger to this post, is at in the process of grieving.

The 4th stage of grief, being depression, is when a grieving person feels the weight of the void at its heaviest. The weight of the loss is so much magnified in its feeling that it distorts thought, distorts all things that normally would make sense to the griever.

What comes of the 5th stage is acceptance.

Acceptance is only ever achieved, as it can be thought on, when a person in grief has found new meaning through a realization. A realization that says upon that person that there is indeed many things in this world to fill that gap, that space, that void.

A grieving individual, like me, must realize what remains, versus what has been lost.

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